Mum Guilt and Perfectionism

Understanding Mum Guilt and Perfectionism

Many mothers know the feeling of “mum guilt” all too well, the sense that no matter what you do, it is never quite enough. You may feel guilty for not spending enough time with your child, for taking a moment for yourself, or for not enjoying motherhood in the way you thought you should. These thoughts can become a constant background voice, leaving you feeling inadequate or ashamed.

Alongside guilt often comes perfectionism, the pressure to get everything right, to always be patient, and to meet expectations that are impossible to sustain. This pressure can lead to exhaustion, resentment, and the sense that you are always falling short. Instead of feeling supported, many mothers end up criticising themselves more harshly than anyone else ever would.

If you recognise yourself in this, you are not alone. Mum guilt and perfectionism are incredibly common, but they do not have to define your experience of motherhood.

How Therapy Can Help

Therapy offers a space where you can put down the constant self-criticism and begin to explore where it comes from. Together we can look at the beliefs and expectations that drive the guilt, and work on softening the pressure you place on yourself.

Through Schema Therapy, EMDR, and Compassion Focused Therapy, I can help you:

  • Understand where these patterns began and why they feel so strong

  • Challenge unrealistic standards in a way that feels safe and manageable

  • Develop more compassionate ways of relating to yourself

  • Create space for rest, joy, and connection in your life and relationships

The aim is not to make you a “perfect” parent, but to help you feel more at ease, more confident, and less weighed down by guilt.

Taking the Next Step

It is very common for mothers who struggle with guilt and perfectionism to hesitate before seeking help. You might worry that reaching out will be seen as weakness, or that you should be able to push through on your own. If that thought is familiar, please know that wanting support is not a failing, it is a sign of care, both for yourself and for your family.

To make the first step easier, I offer a free 15-minute video call. This is simply a chance for us to meet, talk about what feels hardest for you right now, and explore whether working together feels like the right fit. There is no commitment and no expectation, just a space to see if therapy feels supportive for you.

If you would like to begin, you can use the button below to arrange your free call.